The service orientated submissive person is a particular type of submission in FemDom. By particular I do not mean weird or not very common, because according to porn, it is quite popular indeed. This conception is simply based on explicit sexual aspects and this type of submission is often quite subtle. It seems like the only wat to interact with a submissive person is through his body and that is not the only way. There are many submissive men who do not give up their bodies, and if they do it, their body is not the only thing they give up. There are some submissive people who their involvement is different and, although they can end up giving up their bodies, that is not their priority, and those submissive males are the service orientated ones. I have come across quite often this type of submissive people, and at the beginning, I did not quite understand this role, although they always caught My eye and I found them interesting. I believe that this type of submission is more popular with males than with females. Please, do correct Me if I am wrong, but as far as I know, I have never heard the term service orientated submissive applied to women. I do apologise if there are service orientated submissive females too.
This particular type of submissive men usually wishes to serve Dominant women in different aspects. Initially, they want to clean and tidy up their Mistresses’ houses, but they can also find pleasure in driving Women to town, fix things at Their houses, with or without being feminised, and they enjoy making massages, pedicure, manicure… Among those submissive people who are interested in feminisation, we find the ones called Sissy-Maids, which is another very interesting group, and maybe, more popular than the group of those who like to be feminised.
If the submissive men are not interested in feminisation, they tend to become a kind of caretaker, a person who the Dominant Woman trusts in. They like to go shopping with their Mistresses, or even just doing shopping for Them, making the Dominant Women’s life better. This submissive people wish to please Women in their daily life and they tend to ignore/push their own physical and sexual desire into the background, because they find pleasure in serving Women and they fill fulfilled making Women’s life better. They can also be Women’s secretary. Do they have sexual arousal and sexual desire? Of course, they have it, but if his Mistress is a priority for a submissive man who is not service orientated, for the ones who are serviced orientated their Mistresses become even more than their priority, and they are not after any sexual gratification in return for their servitude.
The service orientated submissive people’s satisfaction lies in how useful he can become to his Mistress. The more useful he is, the more rewarded he feels regardless of not being sexually gratified.
Dominant Women normally require the service orientated submissive people to wear a chastity cage to be in charge of their chastity through commitment and willpower. They tend to be helpful and caring men, always willing to make their Mistresses’ life better because, as I said before, their priority is their Mistresses. And because they are service orientated and they like to serve and to be useful, they do not tend to disobey as much as a normal submissive person would normally do.
Can they be sexually used? That will depend on the agreements and on the limits. They need to exactly know what their functions and responsibilities are, because we are still talking about BDSM and everything should be agreed and consensual to content both parties. So, it will depend on the type of bond between the Mistress and the submissive person because, in My opinion, there must be a bond between them to be able to trust someone at that level. At the end of the day, the Mistress is letting the submissive in Her house and will lose Her privacy. It works the other way around to, because I can remember a bizarre story in which I was about to be involved in at the beginning of My FemDom journey regarding a service orientated submissive person. He wanted to stop cleaning some Mistresses’ houses but he feared being punished by Them as a consequence of having withdrawn his duties. He thought They would not give him his chastity cage keys back so that he would not be able to take it off. For this reason, both the Dominant Woman and the service orientated submissive man should consider the agreements before rushing into doing certain tricky things. I need to say that this submissive man had his chastity cage keys back in the end but he was extremely worried for a few days before getting them back. If he would not have gotten the keys back he would have been in serious problems.
Many women rush into having a submissive man who do the house chores for Her and who even pays for some of Her bills, because some of these submissive people also pay for bills. On the other hand, some of those service orientated submissive people allow their Mistresses to do things which can end up being dangerous and uncomfortable. Therefore, they can feel bad and even feel abused, because they think they give Women so much in comparison to what they have in return from Them and they feel ignored. At the beginning, they find purpose in serving Women and they feel fulfilled by doing it, but as time goes by they become less enthusiastic about it. And because they are real submissive people they might struggle to talk to their Mistresses about the problems in the relationship or to simply finish the relationship because a strong dependency bond has been created between both of them and the submissive man might be confused or even feel in love with Her.
Logically, everything evolves and changes and we must be vigilant and make sure everyone involved in the relationship is happy and comfortable in it, because this type of D/s relationships can be more problematic than people might think at first glance. Anyone could think that finding one of these services orientated submissive men is like winning the lottery, but they need to be looked after as any other person involved in FemDom. They need to feel considered and useful too so they constantly look for their Mistresses’ feedback and approval. They are special people who likesto surrender and give up in a different way to what we can see in porn. They are complex and interesting people.
I am going to leave you now with a clarifying message that I got from one of my followers:
Madam, I am one of your blog followers. It is an excellent, meticulous, honest blog where Domination and submission are addressed in depth. I really feel submissive and I consider myself a submissive person. I am in my late fifties and I felt submissive since I was aware of my sexuality. But it could be even before of that. Maybe I started to feel submissive when I was a child. I remember I needed my primary teacher to either punish me misbehaviour or reward my good behaviour. I was not aware of what I was doing, I found out later. Even some of my recollections go even further back. Something I could only understand with the past of time.
To me submission is linked with sexuality but in a secondary level. I do not need sex. I like it but not as most people like sex. I value chastity, humbleness, servitude. I am not a submissive person in my personal life, I only like to be submissive with some women (quite a few throughout my life) who I feel comfortable and confident with to openly talk to them about my submissive personality. I have been a submissive person in my job, because it is a common place to be submissive. So, I have been a submissive person when my ‘boss’ knew about my submissive character. It might be ironic but we might not forget that submission is more likely to happen at the place of work.
I believe a submissive person has to be helpful to a woman, just to one woman. I do not understand those people who fly from flower to flower looking for the submission paradise. Being attentive, polite and respectful, even if you are just friends with a woman, feels incredible. But it is also important as a submissive person to be aware of the fact that, within agreed limits, a woman must use you and you need to be able to serve her, please her and make her life easier. I must admit that I basically am a service orientated submissive person. I do not look for anything in particular in return, because for me, being able to be around a woman, looking after her, serving her and feeling helpful and useful makes me happy. I do not need anything in return. But, obviously, if the Mistress you are serving is a cold person, constantly criticises you, and she is very strict, serving her becomes a very difficult task to do, but not impossible. Just the fact of being able to serve is a reward in itself. To expect something in return does not go with a real submissive person. I do not understand submissive people who only seek for sexual pleasure. They are entitled to, but to me it is not part of being a real submissive man. Masochists are different, it is a sexual option, but being a masochist is not being a submissive person. If you are a submissive, a real one, you need to accept it and be comfortable in your own skin. You need to be discreet, you need to deserve to be called submissive in order to feel confident and avoid being taken advantage off by a potential Mistress in a moment of weakness.
To be a submissive person means being very cautious, because most of us have our own fetish list, so boots, shoes, a particular item of clothing, a tone of voice, can make us lose our minds. We need to be submissive but at the same time we need to be cautious, otherwise our natural submissive instinct can make us be in trouble. I need to recognise that I have made some mistakes in the past, although I never really crossed any dangerous line. That is why I like Scheherezade’s blog so much.
I never had a difficult childhood. I was never neglected. I did not have many difficulties in my life. The vague theories about it, or the opinion that someone becomes submissive because his nanny spanked her might be psychological excuse. I think that real submissive people are born with that feeling. Being a submissive person is as respectable as being homosexual. Maybe you might discover submission when you are old, but there is something genetic with it.
I am convinced that there is a large group of submissive men that are this way because of their gens, and I will explain myself. Today is ‘quite’ easy to be born in a humble family and become a prestigious professional such as a judge, a politician, or even the Prime Minister in the adulthood. The current USA President’s father was a car dealer in a car dealership. During hundreds of years, even centuries, people status has been inherited from fathers to sons for many generations. In the 5th century, if you were a maid, or a slave, your future generations were likely to keep being maids or slaves for many centuries. I am convinced this modifies our gens. Why a real submissive person of today cannot have the humble background I have just talked about? And, as a consequence of that, submission is part of his inner self, is part of his gens.
I never regretted my submissive tendency, but I like to be responsible and keep it secret. I know that in the 80s, an 18 years-old person would find difficult to experience submission. The first Mistresses, like Mistress Zara, advertised their services in some of the local newspapers. There was no Internet. There were only magazines which were sold at the newsagents and it was very difficult to be able to buy them. Later, it became easier with the arrival of Internet, web sites, chats, etcetera. But a person in his 20s, 30s or 40s who might be reading this now should know that it was extremely difficult to be a submissive person in the 80s and 90s. And that led both desperate submissive people and Mistresses to do many crazy and wild things. Unfortunately, even nowadays we can still see desperate Mistresses and submissive people carrying on dangerous things. In Scheherezade’s blog I have found common sense, a lot of common sense in fact. But this blog is an exception because delusional blogs full of unreal fantasies, where Mistresses ask submissive people the most impossible things and where the submissive men must be super slaves, can be found everywhere. So, in this context, Scheherezade’s blogs stands out of the crowd because of its honesty and balance.
A submissive person is someone who accepts with satisfaction to be of service and to be used by his Owner who he respects and worships. And in order to be able to do this, either you are born with this ability or you discover and accept submission in your youth. I honestly believe that there isn’t anything better than silently serving a woman without expecting anything in return. And if you get rewarded by her with a smile, a glace or even with a ‘sweet’ humiliation, that is the most gratifying prize.
To finish off, I would like to say that I do believe that being a submissive person requires being in chastity as much as you can, something very difficult to achieve when you are 20, 30 or 40 years-old. It becomes easier later on. Chastity helps. I do not believe in Elise Sutton’s theories -maybe written by a man- but I must admit that I am happier when I am able to experience my mental submission in depth, leaving my sexual need on a side. Being in chastity and ‘pure’ makes easier to give up and surrender. I will eventually reach the point in which it will be difficult for me to have sex, but I do not want to lose my willingness to serve. It is possible to be a maid in the 21st century, with perseverance and common sense. I wish one day I can serve someone like Scheherezade. I have been in BDSM for four decades. Patience is a force and I can wait. I respect you a lot, Madam, and I wish your blog to be successful for the sake of all of us who feel real submission in our inner self, either if we are submissive men or submissive women, but totally committed and just with one goal: to serve, to be quiet and to accept. It is an immense happiness.
A wonderful text that allows us Dominant Women to know the service orientated submissive people’s mind, the submissive man who is happy serving a Woman a doing Her house chores. How fascinating human sexuality is.
(translation by sammy)